When I began playing chess with them they delighted in giving me all of my pieces and only using half of theirs and then quickly demolish me none the less. So it was with every game we played, they would give me the advantage and then soundly defeat me. Verbal debates were no better. They always had more information and a quicker much more clever response.
Because of my own stubbornness, the end result of growing up with older brothers was to develop in me a fighter mentality. I determined to never give up and never give in no matter how badly I was being beaten. They had set the bar extremely high and I was not going to be out done. So, I spent my formative years desperately entangled in, what felt to me to be a life or death struggle with my brotherly foes.
In retrospect, I am now quite sure that my two older brothers were mostly oblivious to my emotional trauma. For the most part they were merely trying to be nice to me and let me be a part of their much older world. In the final analysis, my war was of my own making as they simply lived life and enjoyed the moment.
I have seen this same pattern of stubbornness and aggression reveal itself in my life as a Christian. In my relationship to my Heavenly Father there have been many times that I placed myself in opposition to His desires and plans for my life. I have wrestled with His will and fought tooth and nail to have things my way. How often I have resisted His greater wisdom and power. Too many times in my past have I challenged his knowledge and sovereignty only to find myself defeated over and over again.
God’s insistence and unrelenting perfection has repeatedly forced me to admit my weakness and lack of understanding. As a child, I resent His strength and abilities and try to come out victorious in this battle of wills only to discover as an adult that in truth there is no contest and God is not fighting me at all. He is lovingly including me in what He is doing by allowing me to be a part of His world. As an adult, I have learned to yield to His greater knowledge and power . . . most of the time.